Josiah's songs & writing

[Josiah Tobin]

Most-liked...  is that by you, or others?

By others-- that is, the songs I usually receive the best comments (or comments period) on.

Given what you've said, it worries me greatly that I don't hear anything wrong with this song's arrangement (maybe I just need more people to critique my songs? I dunno). Damn, I mean... a lot of the time when I try to implement critique and suggestions it just ends up diluting my satisfaction and feelings towards the song, which worries me as well. Maybe I'm just lazy or don't take criticism well, I've really no idea.

I actually thought the strongest part of this song was its structure

That right there should be a warning sign that something isn't going right.  Structure's important, but it has almost nothing to do with the strength of a song - it simply supports it.

I personally disagree with your comment re: structure. It's definitely something I notice, appreciate, and am sometimes impressed by in other songs. Sure, structure and strong parts need and compliment each other, but I certainly think one can be stronger than the other and still produce a good song. Saying structure has nothing to do with the strength of a song just isn't something I can agree with at all.

Sorry, I am really grumpy today. Please don't get the impression that your critique isn't appreciated... Err, I should probably be sleeping right now.

~Josiah

[Hunter]

No worries on the grumpy.  Honestly didn't notice anything like it.

a lot of the time when I try to implement critique and suggestions it just ends up diluting my satisfaction and feelings towards the song, which worries me as well.

If you got it the way you liked it first, it's only natural.  That you don't hear anything wrong with it, these things are, like you said, subjective.  You might have noticed that my writing tends to be (in my opinion) more open, spacy, than you seem to regularily do.  In-and-out arrangements like this one are more likely to sound awkward to me, given they're outside my usual realm.  I mean, I do have a bias here! XD

Sure, structure and strong parts need and compliment each other, but I certainly think one can be stronger than the other and still produce a good song. Saying structure has nothing to do with the strength of a song just isn't something I can agree with at all.

Hmm..  I think there's been a misunderstanding here, as this seems to be about something different than I was referring to.  I'll clarify my intention.

I wasn't referring to a production structure, as in the form a song is recorded in.  I meant the form used at the time of writing.  Having a structure at the time of writing doesn't contribute one way or another to the strength of the song, as I consider the melody and harmony at that point to be the rulers of the form.  I need to make a distinction here between the structure of the song and the structure of the arrangement.  The structure of the song I think is unimportant as far as composition goes, since the composition dictates it.  (Are there one or two verses off the top?  That decided by the requirements of the lyrics.  Is it going to be ABAB, AA, ABAC, AABA, etc...  that's dictated by primarily melodic sense, which is influenced by lyrical requirements as well.)  Once that structure has been decided, and the whole thing's written, then the structure of the arrangement comes into play, which is the first point at which I think the structure becomes important for its own sake.  This is where instrumental bits, solos, grooves and all that arranging and productiony stuff take centre-stage to support the song and lyrics as already written.  This part can weaken a song if done badly, but has less power, when done well, to make a poorly written song good beyond a dance-type track where no-one is meant to listen to the melody or words in the first place.

So, two kinds of structure.  The first one's important (structure always is), but I consider it a byproduct of the songwriting, little more than incidental, and I rarely put thought into it until the song's already in progress.  Essential, but not important as in it kind of takes care of itself.
The second one's more important, as it's an element of the song's presentation, and tends to make or break the memorableness of the song.  More importantly, it sets the pacing, and cements the mood of the song.  Those last two bits are the ones I feel are in need of attention.

Unless I'm totally off the mark here, I think the mistake came in my trying to use your terms without understanding exactly what those terms meant.  Hope this helps.

[Josiah Tobin]

Hmm... I think I understand. Seems like arrangement is usually what I refer to as 'structure.'

I'm trying to step back a bit and think about the song, and I think I agree on some points... It does definitely seem to lack atmosphere or 'purpose' -- It just kind of exists. Is that sort of what you meant? Just what I'm noticing, anyway... it's always tricky (for me, anyway) stepping back and looking at a song from a different point of view.

Still not really sure of anything-- I should sleep ('should' being separate from 'will' but here's hoping)

~Josiah

[Hunter]

Yes, that's a lot closer to what I was thinking.  Like its parts are working toward different goals.  The music suggests a different idea than the lyrics seem to, and neither quite match the delivery.  It's confusing, sending mixed messages.  It's also not a song-killer, because it's just the presentation.

As expressed slightly exaggerated, and in the form of ideas.

Probably should sleep, but who am I to comment - I'm in frickin' Ontario and still up.

[Josiah Tobin]

Hmm yeah, I understand what you're saying. I must not have been clear on it at first, or didn't want to realize it.

I think the reason the parts may be conflicting with each other is that I've been trying to write more catchy, upbeat songs for various reasons (I have a lot of slower, super personal songs, and I wanted to have some more driving/memorable ones for busking etc), and that may have kind of collided with the lyrics I generally write and some of the other parts. Forced, I guess.

My favorite parts are actually everything from the bridge ("all the words..." etc) onwards. Maybe I'll try to rework something out of that.

~Josiah

[Josiah Tobin]

Odd little bit of writing that came about recently (also changed the topic title to be less focused on only music):

---

Blasted Lands verse #1

brown and green and maybe blue
my footsteps tell me what to do
and sometimes when I listen hard
I think I might be somewhere far
away from here in distant times
I'm drawing words and writing lines
and when the sky is out of stars
I'll sing to keep my head in darker
nights than I had ever seen
I swear this place is not a dream
brown and blue and maybe green
I swear that it was not a dream

---

Not sure of the exact meaning but the words describe vivid pictures and places in my mind and feel very 'right' to me... I suppose that's what matters. I have almost a kind of fear of or aversion to writing poetry for some reason-- or rather, at least lyrics without music-- trying to get rid of that silliness.

~Josiah

[Lady Serpent]

*Purrrs*

I personally havn't been around lately due to the business that is insanity, but I skimmed the last page of this post, and read your poem carefully, and it must be said that it's very much something that pleases the ear.  (Or the mind's ear, or eye, in the fact that one isn't actually reading it aloud, just 'hearing' and invisioning it in one's head.)

I should comment further on it and likely will, since it's poetry and it's inspiring, and also that it's familiar and it's yours.  'Away from here in distant times' seems like an old friend to me for some reason; very familiar.  Mabye even NIN-esque, but I'm not sure if that's where the familiarity comes from or not.  ('Beside you in time'-esque, mabye, but I feel that that's not all it is.)

Be back soon to properly comment.  (And to FurBQ update, as well.)

Cheers;
-Sephren

[Josiah Tobin]

Ah, so glad you found it inspiring and familiar! It is kind of... almost nostalgic to me I guess, in some weird way. The place it describes is an imagined location that I daydream about a lot, it's hard to put into words.

I've actually been writing a lot of verse lately, not like lyrics which sound good over music but words that are written to stand on their own... and I'm enjoying it very, very much. I'm almost finding it easier to convey things with the medium as opposed to music and whatnot-- very refreshing. (all the wonderful poems a friend of mine was writing and performing in various ways, especially this one, must have tipped me over the edge I think)

~Josiah

[Josiah Tobin]

Worked this one out in my head as I was wandering around doing some dumpster diving tonight (no good scores but it was a good night for inspiration, apparently):

"Scotch Tape Road Map" (text-based poetic hug)

They notice something about you:
Your signals aren't as bright today,
or your treads are dull and your breaks squeal,
or your GPS is broken and your map is
a creased expanse of scotch tape and blue paper.

And so they switch gears,
change lanes,
and pull up right beside you, keeping pace--

They ignore that turn they were about to make,
and it's okay--
With no explanation, "It doesn't really matter." (Even though it probably did)

And maybe someone else hits their brakes,
or punches their horn,
and yells
"HEY ASSHOLE, LEARN TO DRIVE!"
But that's okay too,
because you both know exactly where you're going,
even if you don't know what will happen once you get there.

And you feel kind of guilty,
you say you feel "Bad."
But really it is good,
so amazing and warm and good,
to have someone
scratch out their daily errands and destinations,
and say:

"No,
Let me help you find yours."

I've barely done any free-form stuff like this before, but I'm really satisfied with this.

~Josiah

[Josiah Tobin]

New version of an old song.

AFM/A Flooded Memory

One take this morning with the new acoustic, still breaking it in... kinda bright. a little rough but I like it.

~Josiah

[Josiah Tobin]

Just an mp3 this time... Wrote this recently and spent all evening doing this fleshed-out version of it. Some lo-fi techniques in here, meant to sound quite gritty and sometimes distorted:

Solvent Soul

Lyrics:

maybe if I paint it white
no one will notice when
the birds shit on the finish
and I'm sure that's what it is
well, what else could it be?
but it spreads out from the inside instead

and you say:

"it's the first coat of paint
from before you were told
that you can't say that,
that you have to grow old
and it made all the colors
that you paint your faces from
...scrape them off for me"

maybe if I let it rust
no one will notice when
the mud sticks to the finish
and I'm sure that's what it is
well, what else could it be?
but it seems to be a window looking deeper

and you say:

"it's the first coat of paint
from before you were told
that you can't say that,
that you have to grow old
and it created all the flaws
that you wear like jewelry
and that first coat of paint
was the day you gave in
and the other coats came
from the states you were in
when you couldn't find yourself
so you masked your face in colors
...scrape them off for me
just let me see
breathe in real deep
just let me see"

this is me
oh, this is me

~Josiah

[Josiah Tobin]

(am I allowed to sequentially post so much in a thread for my own music? )

Recorded this a few days ago, just edited the video together today--

Multi-instrumentalist improv jam

...I'm selling (almost) all my instruments for my move, so I wanted to use them all one last time together. (Drums, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass, keyboards, mandolin, harmonica, ocarina, kalimba...whew)

~Josiah

[Lady Serpent]

I've returned to the realm of internet-posession, so I'll come to further interrupt your sequential posting quite possibly tomorrow sometime.

Looking forward to it. 
-LS

[Josiah Tobin]

Glad to hear it!

~Josiah

[Disel]

is it cool if i favorit it couse i ded

[Josiah Tobin]

Recorded a version of a new song that I wrote the other day... I played everything on this one, but the song was written for a new band I'm working on getting started with some friends up-island. Here's the mp3 link:

http://www.josiahtobin.com/music/misc/Blues_Rocket_Meltdown_mix1.mp3

And a youtube link (much lower quality, but if you can't stream the above mp3 and don't feel like downloading it then... whatever )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH3uM1zTgXA

Very happy with this one. First song I recorded with my new Zoom H2 portable recorder/recording interface, fantastic little device, such incredible microphones in there. I didn't spent time re-recording all the little flaws in the vocal takes like I usually do, but I was extremely proud of how the raw takes came out so I just kept them as-is.

~Josiah

EDIT: Almost forgot the lyrics:

"Blues Rocket Meltdown"

I'm gonna build a rocket, I'm gonna live in space
I'm gonna meet some aliens and tell them all about my day
I'm gonna build a rocket, I'm gonna run away
not like I've got anyone to miss me anyway

I'm gonna get a hammer, and all the tools
I'm gonna build this sucker out of all my god-damned blues

and when I crash into your planet I'll disintegrate
and you won't find a god-damned particle, I'll leave no trace
and all the days will carry on, my ghost will not appear
you know I'd never hurt a fly
but I could... I could show it fear

I'll be alone out there, talk to no one
but I'll keep a TV so I'll know where I came from
and when I feel better, when the mood is gone
I'm gonna drive this rocket ship straight into the fucking sun

and when I hit the blinding surface I'll disintegrate
and you won't find a god-damned particle, I'll leave no trace
and all the days will carry on, my ghost will not appear
you know I'd never hurt a fly
but I could... I could show it fear

and when I fall into the sun I will disintegrate
and you won't find a god-damned particle, I'll leave no trace
and all the days will carry on, my ghost will not appear
you know I'd never hurt a fly
but I could... I could show it fear

[Disel]

cool bie I loves it

[Josiah Tobin]

Thanks, Disel

~Josiah

[Josiah Tobin]

Haven't posted anything recent here in awhile... I'm living in Calgary now, and in addition to my slightly excessive collection of instruments, one of my housemates has a pretty nice drumkit in the basement -- recorded this instrumental song a few days ago with some riffs I've had lying around since I moved at the beginning of the month and some new rhythms I've been playing with on the drums: (also used a new guitar I picked up here on this, the first strat I've owned)
Never Again (rough mix)
Still needs some samples and lead parts to fill it out a bit... not sure what I'll do with it, exactly, though for some reason I think it'd be neat to have sampled conversations from really old movies over the quiet parts...

This one's older but I don't think I ever got around to posting it here. It's actually a cover of a song written by my good friend Seth few years ago that I really loved, but he never really did anything with his version. I added a part and changed a few of the riffs around... Real driving, grungy sort of tune. Really enjoyed doing the snarly vocals for this one.
Heart on a String

~Josiah

[KapitanVonWolf]

Very nice. And it's late, but welcome to Calgary, Enjoying the current weather and how calgarians drive in it?

plus, i wish i had half the music talent you did, Jeeze.