Serous subject alert: Teen Suicide

[Atomicat]

I just cross-posted this into a number of LJ communities, it's time to spread the word, do something.  If you know someone who needs help or if you are that someone, please don't hesitate, act!!

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It's happened again, another teen suicide, and as always my heart breaks.  We've all seen too many and as usual we wonder what was in the minds of those who chose this solution to their problem.  In my experience it's been the feeling of being trapped, of having no other options, no future, no way out.  Sound familiar?  It doesn't have to be this way though, not by a long shot.

Many years ago I remember lying on my belly up here in the barn, looking out into the yard and vowing that one day I'd turn this place into a refuge for all the bleeding heads of the world.  I vowed that I'd never break, that "They" would never win, that eventually I would make this happen, and three years ago to make a very long story short I set things in motion.  There is space up here now and resources and I can now say that whoever you are, if you need that space and more importantly the time to just stop and get your head together, that space exists.

I live on a quarter section of land in northern Manitoba, nothing but fields and forests and absolute quiet.  There is plenty of space, a great workshop with tools and materials of all sorts, and a library that would take a few years to work through.  Above all there is time and opportunity.  Some people are made of strong will, some of strong won't, you can guess which one I'm made of.  Too many people spend too much time thinking about why things can't be done instead of how they can be done.  I ask you, is there anything about this that's particularly hard?  Impossible?  No?  Right you are.  Living up here by the way is ridiculously cheap, no rent, no utilities, plenty of food about, free heat, free water, and freedom to breath. 

Get the word out that there is sanctuary, there is an escape other than death, there is hope, a future, time, peace, tranquility, all these things.  What you won't find here is judgment, preaching, lecturing, arrogant presumptions or easy answers, only the time to find your own.  If you know someone, suggest it to them.  Help them to see the possible.  Whatever can be imagined can be made to happen, that all obstacles can be overcome, the first step is in realizing that it is possible.

The great tragedy of life  is not that people set their sights too high and fail, but that they set their sights too low and succeed.
- Michelangelo

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I am so sick of the waste, the tragedy, sick to death of it.  The late teens are the hardest years in one's life, if one can get through those intact... well you get the picture.  Help spread the word and DO rather than mourn.

Atomicat

[DogboyShugo]

I honestly believe it's the parents nowadays. I'm not judging all parents, but a lot of how people are raised has changed drastically over the years. I myself, have been in a situation like suicide but I didn't go through with it and I'm glad I didn't. I had my own problems and felt what you said "trapped, no way out, ect." Everyone goes through things differently no matter what people say, but back to my point. I believe it's the parents. I see ALOT of teens getting into weed, and many other sorts of drugs that disort their mind from helping themselves or seeking the better way out because their parents just don't care enough. We all know that kids are being born at a much earlier age now (not saying it's those parents themselves.) There's also many other reasons why this is happening. I just think the main reason around the whole thing is "parents" and people who just don't give a damn.

I know myself, when I see others with any sort of problem I try to fix it and help them through it or at least be there for them. I was in the dumps for 4-5 years and regardless of how worse I had it, I still feel that no one regardless of the issue should go through pain like that. It`s a very difficult pain to explain.

Another thing that just hit my head is the stupid psychologists. I think I mentioned this in a previous post, not sure. But, nowadays most psycoligists and doctors just want money. They listen to a persons problem (regardless of age) and then most likely prescribe drugs for it. They don`t bother actually helping the person, they just want their money and to forget it ever happened.

[Runemist]

I have been depressed enough before, and probably have the capacity to do so again, as much as I would never want to. For me, it's the feeling that I'm overwhelmed, especially when it comes to people.
I did want to mention, however, that while I very much commend your heart and your efforts to help people with the problems they have, that perhaps you're going about it the wrong way. No matter what the problems are, no matter where the person is, those problems will not disappear. Unfortunately, if you're dealing with someone who's grown up in a severely homophobic family, and suddenly realize that they are homosexual, those people can feel trapped, lost, and possibly suicidal. However, if they move to somewhere that does not house there family, their problems will still exist. Most problems are like this: they root inside the person, and the outside stimulus can certainly make it seem better or worse, but only the person can really fix it.
The other issue is that whoever you wish to help, and however much you wish to help them, they have to WANT your help, first! Providing shelter, food, and a tranquil place is awesome, and for some, a very much needed rest (I could think of a few people that could use it), but if one does not live near you, or if one is too young to "move out," then it would have to be a very huge need for solitude and peace they have. Once they're finished, what shall they do?
Strangely, I've heard of almost as many adults committing suicide as teenagers, so I'm not sure what all that hype is about. I've been pretty much an adult both times I've felt that way...but I couldn't get any help. The facilities here in my town cater to teens only, so I either had to dish out the cash for a professional, or deal with it.
What I'm trying to say is that no matter the problem, the lesson is to learn to deal with it, AND to go on with daily life. I took my own time out for about a year, and I did learn a lot, but the real challenge is now, trying to put my subtle little lessons about how to regulate my mood and health in the real, working world. I feel that this is the kind of help people out there need: how to give yourself the attention you need, and also how to work and live at the same time.

Sorry, didn't mean to talk so much!
Also, I'm a little jealous. Such a big place out in the boonies somewhere? I'd love it!

[Runemist]

I honestly believe it's the parents nowadays. I'm not judging all parents, but a lot of how people are raised has changed drastically over the years. I myself, have been in a situation like suicide but I didn't go through with it and I'm glad I didn't. I had my own problems and felt what you said "trapped, no way out, ect." Everyone goes through things differently no matter what people say, but back to my point. I believe it's the parents. I see ALOT of teens getting into weed, and many other sorts of drugs that disort their mind from helping themselves or seeking the better way out because their parents just don't care enough. We all know that kids are being born at a much earlier age now (not saying it's those parents themselves.) There's also many other reasons why this is happening. I just think the main reason around the whole thing is "parents" and people who just don't give a damn.

I know myself, when I see others with any sort of problem I try to fix it and help them through it or at least be there for them. I was in the dumps for 4-5 years and regardless of how worse I had it, I still feel that no one regardless of the issue should go through pain like that. It`s a very difficult pain to explain.

Another thing that just hit my head is the stupid psychologists. I think I mentioned this in a previous post, not sure. But, nowadays most psycoligists and doctors just want money. They listen to a persons problem (regardless of age) and then most likely prescribe drugs for it. They don`t bother actually helping the person, they just want their money and to forget it ever happened.

I don't mean to argue, but I've had a very different experience with my own parents. Perhaps we're just from a different time, but if I didn't have my mom, I wouldn't be here today, and not for the obvious She helped me through more than her share.
Also, I think you're actually thinking of Psychiatrists. Psychologists don't have the ability to perscribe drugs, and they aren't for everyone. I sought counselling for a long time, till I realized it wasn't giving me what I needed. For some people, the social interaction, and the ability to talk about your problems with someone who has no emotional investment in what you're talking about is very theraputic. For others, it can be frustrating and boring. You have to find the right one for you, I suppose.

[Atomicat]

Another thing that just hit my head is the stupid psychologists. I think I mentioned this in a previous post, not sure. But, nowadays most psycoligists and doctors just want money. They listen to a persons problem (regardless of age) and then most likely prescribe drugs for it. They don`t bother actually helping the person, they just want their money and to forget it ever happened.

Human consciousness is too delicate a thing to play around with mood-altering drugs.  Well, only if there's a real and understandable chemical imbalance, if not, leave it alone!  Thing is, people are so used to popping a pill because they're having a bad day.  Having a bad day?  Deal!  Learn to deal.

There's nothing wrong with weed as long as you keep it to a once in a while and avoid chronic.  Yes it is habit-forming and yes it does sap your willpower, but that's another discussion entirely.

[Atomicat]

I have been depressed enough before, and probably have the capacity to do so again, as much as I would never want to. For me, it's the feeling that I'm overwhelmed, especially when it comes to people.
I did want to mention, however, that while I very much commend your heart and your efforts to help people with the problems they have, that perhaps you're going about it the wrong way. No matter what the problems are, no matter where the person is, those problems will not disappear. Unfortunately, if you're dealing with someone who's grown up in a severely homophobic family, and suddenly realize that they are homosexual, those people can feel trapped, lost, and possibly suicidal. However, if they move to somewhere that does not house there family, their problems will still exist. Most problems are like this: they root inside the person, and the outside stimulus can certainly make it seem better or worse, but only the person can really fix it.
The other issue is that whoever you wish to help, and however much you wish to help them, they have to WANT your help, first! Providing shelter, food, and a tranquil place is awesome, and for some, a very much needed rest (I could think of a few people that could use it), but if one does not live near you, or if one is too young to "move out," then it would have to be a very huge need for solitude and peace they have. Once they're finished, what shall they do?
Strangely, I've heard of almost as many adults committing suicide as teenagers, so I'm not sure what all that hype is about. I've been pretty much an adult both times I've felt that way...but I couldn't get any help. The facilities here in my town cater to teens only, so I either had to dish out the cash for a professional, or deal with it.
What I'm trying to say is that no matter the problem, the lesson is to learn to deal with it, AND to go on with daily life. I took my own time out for about a year, and I did learn a lot, but the real challenge is now, trying to put my subtle little lessons about how to regulate my mood and health in the real, working world. I feel that this is the kind of help people out there need: how to give yourself the attention you need, and also how to work and live at the same time.

Sorry, didn't mean to talk so much!
Also, I'm a little jealous. Such a big place out in the boonies somewhere? I'd love it!

I agree with everything you're saying there, but I'd like to provide the opportunity for a bit of peace and quiet because when you're in this sort of turmoil you just want everything to STOP!!!  Provide the "STOP!" first, what comes later all depends on what happens during the Stop!  Someone may for instance find that they have a talent for mechanical construction, electronics, crafts etc etc, and leave with that.  As for the getting away from home thing, often the home situations are so freakin' bad that the parents don't give a damn!  When Azzy came out here over two years ago she was constantly calling her mom to tell her what was going on, and never got a single reply.  I can also help with things like rides, a bus ticket, air miles even.  The point is to focus on what can be done and do that, look for solutions.

Heh, this place is intended to be an artist's retreat and hang-out, creative zone.  I'd love to have you and any other visitors out here.  I've also floated the idea of having an informal western Canada meet-up, party-fest, but haven't got much for enthusiasm.  Oh well.  Any hardcore organizers out there?

'tomix

[Nexus]

To be honest, I've tried before.

Shugo's right about the parent thing.

[DogboyShugo]

I honestly believe it's the parents nowadays. I'm not judging all parents, but a lot of how people are raised has changed drastically over the years. I myself, have been in a situation like suicide but I didn't go through with it and I'm glad I didn't. I had my own problems and felt what you said "trapped, no way out, ect." Everyone goes through things differently no matter what people say, but back to my point. I believe it's the parents. I see ALOT of teens getting into weed, and many other sorts of drugs that disort their mind from helping themselves or seeking the better way out because their parents just don't care enough. We all know that kids are being born at a much earlier age now (not saying it's those parents themselves.) There's also many other reasons why this is happening. I just think the main reason around the whole thing is "parents" and people who just don't give a damn.

I know myself, when I see others with any sort of problem I try to fix it and help them through it or at least be there for them. I was in the dumps for 4-5 years and regardless of how worse I had it, I still feel that no one regardless of the issue should go through pain like that. It`s a very difficult pain to explain.

Another thing that just hit my head is the stupid psychologists. I think I mentioned this in a previous post, not sure. But, nowadays most psycoligists and doctors just want money. They listen to a persons problem (regardless of age) and then most likely prescribe drugs for it. They don`t bother actually helping the person, they just want their money and to forget it ever happened.

I don't mean to argue, but I've had a very different experience with my own parents. Perhaps we're just from a different time, but if I didn't have my mom, I wouldn't be here today, and not for the obvious She helped me through more than her share.
Also, I think you're actually thinking of Psychiatrists. Psychologists don't have the ability to perscribe drugs, and they aren't for everyone. I sought counselling for a long time, till I realized it wasn't giving me what I needed. For some people, the social interaction, and the ability to talk about your problems with someone who has no emotional investment in what you're talking about is very theraputic. For others, it can be frustrating and boring. You have to find the right one for you, I suppose.

I didnt say all parents

[Runemist]

I have been depressed enough before, and probably have the capacity to do so again, as much as I would never want to. For me, it's the feeling that I'm overwhelmed, especially when it comes to people.
I did want to mention, however, that while I very much commend your heart and your efforts to help people with the problems they have, that perhaps you're going about it the wrong way. No matter what the problems are, no matter where the person is, those problems will not disappear. Unfortunately, if you're dealing with someone who's grown up in a severely homophobic family, and suddenly realize that they are homosexual, those people can feel trapped, lost, and possibly suicidal. However, if they move to somewhere that does not house there family, their problems will still exist. Most problems are like this: they root inside the person, and the outside stimulus can certainly make it seem better or worse, but only the person can really fix it.
The other issue is that whoever you wish to help, and however much you wish to help them, they have to WANT your help, first! Providing shelter, food, and a tranquil place is awesome, and for some, a very much needed rest (I could think of a few people that could use it), but if one does not live near you, or if one is too young to "move out," then it would have to be a very huge need for solitude and peace they have. Once they're finished, what shall they do?
Strangely, I've heard of almost as many adults committing suicide as teenagers, so I'm not sure what all that hype is about. I've been pretty much an adult both times I've felt that way...but I couldn't get any help. The facilities here in my town cater to teens only, so I either had to dish out the cash for a professional, or deal with it.
What I'm trying to say is that no matter the problem, the lesson is to learn to deal with it, AND to go on with daily life. I took my own time out for about a year, and I did learn a lot, but the real challenge is now, trying to put my subtle little lessons about how to regulate my mood and health in the real, working world. I feel that this is the kind of help people out there need: how to give yourself the attention you need, and also how to work and live at the same time.

Sorry, didn't mean to talk so much!
Also, I'm a little jealous. Such a big place out in the boonies somewhere? I'd love it!

I agree with everything you're saying there, but I'd like to provide the opportunity for a bit of peace and quiet because when you're in this sort of turmoil you just want everything to STOP!!!  Provide the "STOP!" first, what comes later all depends on what happens during the Stop!  Someone may for instance find that they have a talent for mechanical construction, electronics, crafts etc etc, and leave with that.  As for the getting away from home thing, often the home situations are so freakin' bad that the parents don't give a damn!  When Azzy came out here over two years ago she was constantly calling her mom to tell her what was going on, and never got a single reply.  I can also help with things like rides, a bus ticket, air miles even.  The point is to focus on what can be done and do that, look for solutions.

Heh, this place is intended to be an artist's retreat and hang-out, creative zone.  I'd love to have you and any other visitors out here.  I've also floated the idea of having an informal western Canada meet-up, party-fest, but haven't got much for enthusiasm.  Oh well.  Any hardcore organizers out there?

'tomix

Well, I really do like the idea of providing a place to go! I agree, sometimes you just need a retreat away...I was just concerned that you were thinking it was like a "fix all." I'm glad you have a place for people to go, though. As I said, I could think of a couple people that could use it!
Also, it is rather nice to know that there are other people out there that really do care about their fellow people. Working where I do now, in the fast food industry, I see a lot of unfortunate things, and a lot of uncaring people. Sometimes it's easy to be jaded.

[Atomicat]

Well, I really do like the idea of providing a place to go! I agree, sometimes you just need a retreat away...I was just concerned that you were thinking it was like a "fix all." I'm glad you have a place for people to go, though. As I said, I could think of a couple people that could use it!
Also, it is rather nice to know that there are other people out there that really do care about their fellow people. Working where I do now, in the fast food industry, I see a lot of unfortunate things, and a lot of uncaring people. Sometimes it's easy to be jaded.

Like I said in my post, my answers won't be someone elses, but I can provide the space and time to find your own.  And those people you know, suggest it to em, this country isn't as big as it seems and people are going back and forth all the time.  Yah, unfortunately cities tend to do that to people.  Too many people, can't care about em all so why even start.

Tired!  More to say but later, gotta be fresh for tomorrow.

'tomix

[Wyrd-Hotd]

I think that this is a great idea, the plain beauty of things like that can most definatly alter ones mindset... Not everybody can help everyone... things dont always work out, and unless your their for the person... you cant do to much but lend an Ear, provide advice... and hope you can help them through it.... there needs to be more facilities like this... Kudos to you.

[lorelli]

I tried to commit suicide in December..I'm still recovering from the after-effects of it. The main thing is that you have to WANT help. I didn't reach out until it was almost too late. But, I'm still here, still trying to make things better. It's a one step at a time process for me.

Also, my parents really had nothing to do with it. But in some cases it does relate to them and how they treat the person, or how they don't treat them..

Having a place where people can go is a really great idea. Having somewhere to escape to I think is crucial. When things get really bad for me I usually go for a walk for a few hours, to clear my head.

[Wolfgang]

For me my first actual thought of suicide would have happened in grade six. At the time I was "bullied" and it was happening for at least a year before. My parents didn't know I was depressed. I think they started catching on when I continually would purposely make myself sick to stay home from school. They found out pretty quickly after that and within the month we moved. The next place wasn't any better possibly worse, and that is when I was close to doing it. I would have been dead at the age of 12. Things slowly picked up after that. I do get the occasional thought, more as of late, but I have decided that I will not kill myself. I would be happy dieing tomorrow, but I will not kill myself. I just feel like I need to escape. I might just run one day. I would go to B.C. I feel at home their.

[Xx.Lone.Wolf.xX]

i think that for most people they just really need somone to talk to and somone that cares for them... like honestly ill admit it, i should be dead 3 times over by the ammount of pills i took but im not and im still here. the only reason things have gotten better and i havent tryed again is because of somone i talk too. my parent (just one) who is unaccepting of who i am and always making my life hell, is one of the main problems and the environment in which i live(highschool is rough when your an outcast)  is another but i think that anyone can pull through if they have just one person that they know cares about them and is willing to help. ive found that person and im sure they know who they are and are going to read this. i personally thank fate everyday for bringing us together because with out him i would probally already be dead and gone. so to all those out there who are stuck in that depressed state of life, talk to somone. if you cant find anyone talk to me, ill do want i can and i know exactially waht your going through.